u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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