What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
