Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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