windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
