When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
