Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
