hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I checked into jail on foursquare
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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