Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
