OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
