I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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