I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
