Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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