im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
