Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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