I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
