Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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