please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
40s are totally the cure
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
