I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
