Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
