I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
