I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize