i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
