Soap is not a condiment
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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