There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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