The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
