margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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