mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize