I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
