I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
