did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
