Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
