I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
