..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize