She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
