I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
