lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
