No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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