A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
