why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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