He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
