I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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