Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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