grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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