So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
