But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
50% drunk capacity currently
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
