So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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