I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
