In the future we'll all be gay
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
