tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
