you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
