the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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