i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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