It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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