felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
