I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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