It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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