Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
