Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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