Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
