Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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